Those Texans have a problem. See, their highways are just too damn puny for all of their SUVs. There’s no breathing room on the interstates, 4 lanes just don’t cut it when your Hummer takes up two at a time. It’s hard to get those suckers up to 70 or 80 miles an hour where they really burn through the gas. So, fortunately someone came up with a solution. Build an even bigger highway. A really big highway. We’re talking big here people. The corridor would be a quarter mile ACROSS, with as many as ten lanes, railway tracks and oil and gas pipelines built right in so you can keep the hammer down on your Hummer and not worry about looking for a gas station. Yep, let’s make that bastard 4000 miles long so you can really see how the seats hold up over the long haul. The genius rationale behind this is as follows: The roads we have are too crowded. Dammit we need more roads, that’s the only solution.

It makes you want to donate some money to support the NASA space program and help these guys get off the planet, eh? Maybe they can find another one somewhere… build some more roads.

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