Nikki suffers from a medical condition known as TDE or thermal deficiency in the extremities. It’s a common condition, runs in her family actually. It means that she ALWAYS has cold hands and feet. We are talking really cold, cryogenically cold. I can’t imagine something that cold belonging to a warm-blooded creature, it’s unnatural.
Anyway, predictably I am the target for all of her heat-seeking tendencies. In bed her freakishly cold feet seek my legs out, thermo-kinetically drawn to me as a heat source. I don’t stand a chance against those heat-dementors. Her bloodless, clutching undead toes seek out my warm flesh and mercilessly drain me of all heat and happiness. Well, happiness is an exaggeration, but it’s darn cold and not much fun sometimes. It’s a strange dichotomy that Nikki’s personality is so warm and giving, while her feet are actually heat seeking wind-chill demons with a mind of their own.
Anybody else know someone like this?
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Do I know anyone else like this??? Yeah. Every woman in the history of our species, dude! They don’t tolerate us because we protect them, or, laughably, are attracted to us. No, in reality we’re nothing more than heat factories for these thermal vampires.
You are probably right, but how does this reconcile with your supposed anti-cuddling policy with Lockrey? That makes you dangerously useless to her. I would watch my back if I were you, and maybe extend a bare limb once in a while to let her feed. It’s in your own best interest.
This completely explains my Dr. Scholl’s “Thermal Relief” Paraffin Wax Spa gift that I received for Valentine’s Day.
Who was this gift for exactly Honey?
Either way it rocks so I don’t care if it was partially for you. I don’t care how I get warm, so long as I get there. Just think how soft my undead toes are going to be now! Yay us!
[...] saw a link on Neatorama the other day that I thought was especially appropriate for Nikki (who is always cold, no matter what the temperature is). It’s about a guy who can apparently withstand cold that [...]
[...] just one of the hazards of staying home to watch the kids. Similarly, I revealed how she is a heat vampire bent on freezing me solid. She also laughed heartily at me for this little escapade with the [...]