As I have mentioned previously, Nikki lives her life in a state of perpetual hypothermia, her blood is always chilled to a thick gelatinous viscosity that sluggishly seeps through her veins. No warmth is radiated from her core to her extremities. They are freezing cold and are brittle and stiff all day long. Even in the hot summer months her hands and feet only barely rise to non-cadaver temperatures.
It’s too easy to tease her about this of course, which I do mercilessly. All joking aside however, we were talking about this last night while she gave my shins frostbite with her toes. I suggested that perhaps she wasn’t dressing warmly enough to be comfortable during the day. She countered that she wears multiple layers all day long, and that isn’t enough to make her feet and hands comfortably warm. I then suggested that she could wear a toque during the day since even though the head is not a significant source of heat loss, maybe it would help to keep her body temperature up. I suggested that if she did that, we could start calling her MushMom, you know, like Mushmouth from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.
It turns out that I was actually thinking of Dumb Donald, who wore a toque that covered his whole head down to his mouth, with eye holes.
In my defense, Mushmouth also wore a toque, but a regular sized one. However, Mushmouth did have the excellent speech impediment that makes the joke funny.
So, if that seems like a long way to go just for a joke about Nikki wearing a toque all day, you are correct. But then we wouldn’t have been able to reflect back on Fat Albert, which would have been a shame. A little Cosby bonus for those of you who remember, I can still sing the Picture Pages song. Anybody else?
UPDATE: You know what is kind of wonderful? The Internet has decided, as a whole, that this blog post is the definitive place to find any and all information about Mushmouth. I know this because my stats say so. I think that’s awesome, but with this great responsibility comes great responsibility. You all need to realize that Mushmouth is the guy above with the RED toque, not the dude with the eye holes cut into his toque, that’s Dumb Donald. I, too made this mistake before conducting exhaustive research for this post. PLEASE PEOPLE, when you dress up like that for Halloween, you are actually dressing as Dumb Donald, not Mushmouth, ok? Thanks for reading, carry on.