National Do Not Call List “Worked Until Today”, telephone survey finds

A new survey finds that the National Do Not Call (DNCL) list was mostly effective at reducing the number of calls received by participants, at least until the survey was taken.

“Yep, we’ve had hardly any telemarketers call here since we signed up, until today when you jerks called.” was the most common response by participants, followed closely at number 2 by a terse “not interested”, incoherent screaming, and “can I have YOUR number so I can call YOU during YOUR dinner?  CAN I?” rounding out the top four responses.  The survey was not considered a success by the government panel responsible for the results, so they are considering the creation of a new national list for people to register in: the National Do Not Call Except For Us Cause That’s Ok (DNCLEFUCTOK).  Citizens who register in the new list will automatically receive a call from the government to confirm their registration, followed by periodic telephone number checks each and every month, sometime around the time when you finally sit down with your dinner and raise the first goddamn bite to your lips.

Time will tell how successful the new DNCLEFUCTOK will be.