I should preface this by saying that this appears to be a review of a restaurant that bears “the name of someone who is on TV”, which as anyone that knows us Television-blind Vallentynes, results in a bemused shrug from me. But forget about that for a moment, since you will no doubt know who Guy Fieri is already. It seems he opened a new restaurant in Times Square recently and this gentleman went to sample the fare and write a review for the New York Times. What he ended up doing was an exercise in awesomeness, a shining example of snark, sarcasm, and just plain old nasty.
It’s fantastic, I highly recommend you go and read this, it starts with a bang and just keeps coming. Some of my favourites:
Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?
…
Somewhere within the yawning, three-level interior of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, is there a long refrigerated tunnel that servers have to pass through to make sure that the French fries, already limp and oil-sogged, are also served cold?
….
SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.
Needless to say, it’s a masterpiece of a review.  The restaurant doesn’t sound so hot though.