Vacuuming is important
Ok, so 220lbs+ of dog can generate a fairly significant amount of hair. Sadly, this represents about three weeks worth of vacuuming, but does not represent the amount of hair I remove by brushing in that same amount of time.
Wow. Ick.
This is why we vacuum a lot before people come over. Be glad we do, people.
Procrasti-nine
I can take delaying work to new heights. I have done it today, in spades. I know I'm doing it, there's no fooling myself. I have to read about 450 pages of really boring technical material. I gave myself a deadline to get it all done, there should have been lots of time to do it. It's still not done, my deadline is down to about 5 hours of remaining time. This morning I have wasted about 2 hours of reading time doing the following:
- Tidy the kitchen and house so the cleaning lady could come in and do a good job.
- File some papers
- Clean off my desk
- Facebook check
- Carefully select some reading music in iTunes
- Chat with Nikki who was stuck in an enormous traffic jam
- Scratch four dog ears and two dog bellies
- Tidy up some dangling cables in the office
- Send four emails
- Write this damn blog post
My book remains open beside me as I type this. Oh, page 298 why do you look like a huge boulder? There's no reason why it's so hard to read this crap, besides the fact that it's boring, and I know most of it. Ok, so there are two fairly big reasons.
Alright, that's it, square the shoulders and just grab page 298 by the horns. It's on, Mother-booker!
Wait, what's that shiny thing over there on the web? Oh, it's a cute video of an otter.... awww.
What the? CRAP.
Huge heads not just good for smashing against things….
It seems that scientists have discovered that the size of your skull can be a factor in staving off the effects of Alzheimers. Anyone who has met me in person and felt in person the force of my magnetic personality will understand perfectly when I say this: I win at the Alzheimer's game. I beat all of you. There is no winning against me, for my head is made of win.
Here's a little clarification for you; that's not my magnetic personality you are feeling, but rather the gravitational pull of my skull actually causing you to lean towards me. I have a huge head. Measurably so. I have never met a head bigger than mine, and it's a regular party gag to throw down and have a measure-off with anyone in the room. I am a skinny dude with an enormous melon, and nobody expects me to beat the huge guys with the muscles, but I do. When I finally lose the battle with hair loss it will probably be a lot more obvious, but for now I can safely say that I will out last any of you in the Alzheimer's department, and nobody knows it until the tape measures come out.
The most ironic thing of all is I have probably the worst memory (for some things). Just ask my wife Lorraine or especially my sister, um, Betty.
Kiko, eater of toe, and hero. Not so Roscoe.
Dogs and toes have been discussed on the blog before of course. There's pages of dog blogs, and the toe stuff is also starting to rack up. The subject of today's post however has to do with both, which really has only happened once before that I can recall. In that post we heard about a miniature daschund that chewed a woman's toe off while she was sleeping. The little rascal Roscoe managed this feat (ahem) because the woman had diabetes and couldn't feel it due to nerve damage. The story ends with the dastardly evil little creature being put down, for fear that his awakened taste for little piggies would result in a continued buffet every night.
How strange that today's story is so completely different in tone and ending, and yet be so similar. Here's the gist for you:
A stubborn obstinate man refused to go and see the doctor about his infected toe for months, despite his wife's suspicion that he had diabetes. Said man drinks (exactly what is a bit fuzzy, man thinks it was four or five beers, wife's quote says it was "all of these margaritas", this reporter suspects it was both), and passes out. Faithful family dog proceeds to eat man's infected toe, man awakens screaming, my toe's gone, my toe's gone.
That dog is a goner, right?
Nope, he's a hero, credited with saving the man's life.
The strangest thing of all is the original story is actually referenced in this story, and said man (who is hilariously described in the article as "a well-known wheeler-dealer" in the area) was actually going to destroy his dog too, until someone pointed out that he would be a jackass to do so since the dog essentially saved his life. The man remains a jackass, but at least the dog still lives.
The final quote of the story is the winner for me, as is the dog's name.
And as for falling asleep, Douthett said he's not taking any chances. "I don't think Kiko would do it again," he said, "but I wear shoes to bed now."
The dog's name is Kiko. Which I cannot help but pronounce Kick-o. Kick-o, eater of toe.
MacBook Pro FTW
Let me just say that I forgot my power adapter this morning when I left for a whole day of work offsite. Nikki has her brand-new work-issued HP EliteBook laptop, I have my year-old used MacBook Pro. Her battery was dead before lunch, and mine is still going (albeit down to the dregs now) at 4pm. I didn't have it on all day, and it wasn't all that graphic intensive, but I was using lots of WiFi all day. I only just turned down the brightness so I could get this blog post out.
That is some nice battery life....
Theme Change Friday
Ok, so I'm procrastinating from doing any work because I am a jerk like that. So, how about a new theme for the blog? Sure why not? Don't tell Nikki that I haven't billed anybody this afternoon yet.
I got bored of the last theme, which while it was clean, started to feel rather bland. This is a bit better, I think. There is no point for this post, except just for my own purposes. Here's to procrastination!
Cheers.
Archivery
Taggery
Category-ery
Flickr-ey
Twittery
- I just ousted @scootermcgee as the mayor of Subway on @foursquare! http://4sq.com/9rMJHS
- â@pattonoswalt: Bustles and plums! #VictorianEraOrgasmYellsâ. Good lord, just followed Patton and this is like tweet #5. Sweet.
- My new blog post: "Nerd Humour Alert" http://nn.nf/1cvco
- My new blog post: "Working From Home" http://nn.nf/1cuql