It seems that scientists have discovered that the size of your skull can be a factor in staving off the effects of Alzheimers.  Anyone who has met me in person and felt in person the force of my magnetic personality will understand perfectly when I say this:  I win at the Alzheimer’s game.  I beat all of you.  There is no winning against me, for my head is made of win.

Here’s a little clarification for you; that’s not my magnetic personality you are feeling, but rather the gravitational pull of my skull actually causing you to lean towards me.  I have a huge head.  Measurably so.  I have never met a head bigger than mine, and it’s a regular party gag to throw down and have a measure-off with anyone in the room.  I am a skinny dude with an enormous melon, and nobody expects me to beat the huge guys with the muscles, but I do.  When I finally lose the battle with hair loss it will probably be a lot more obvious, but for now I can safely say that I will out last any of you in the Alzheimer’s department, and nobody knows it until the tape measures come out.

The most ironic thing of all is I have probably the worst memory (for some things).  Just ask my wife Lorraine or especially my sister, um, Betty.