Tag Archives: money

Recession Fixer?

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It seems that the bank guys will have to explain just what the hell they have been doing with all that money today.  While we all would love to see a severe scolding given to these arseholes, I think it will be much more likely that they will mouth the right words and do some insincere hand-washing, and that will be the end of it.  Maybe I’m getting cynical in my old age….

Does anyone really believe that any of this money will help the situation?  They started with $700 billion or so, and now they are adding another $800 billion.  That’s a trillion and a half of taxpayer money, going to businesses and banks, and there’s no sign of anything changing.  Wonderful.  However, it’s the average consumer’s fault that they aren’t spending that the recession is deepening, of course.

Here’s an idea (I’m sure it’s not the first time it’s been suggested):  instead of giving the money to banks to line their own pockets at the taxpayer’s expense, how about using that money to pay down individual mortgages?  The ballpark value of all residential mortgages in the US is about 10.6 trillion, according to this site (which means nothing, so this could be way off).  So you have $1.5 trillion to spend, and $10.6 trillion in the kind of debt that probably makes people control their spending the most.  How about you use this money to help pay off individual mortgages?  It wouldn’t be very fair if you paid off the whole mortgage, and it wouldn’t go far enough, but how about giving every household about a year’s worth of mortgage payments?  It would probably end up being about $16 000 or so per household (I made most of this math up, I have no idea how many households there are in the US).  Wouldn’t that change your spending habits just a bit?  I’m thinking that would be a much surer way to get that money spent in the economy that just giving it to some jerkoff banker.

I am not an economist, and certainly don’t manage my own money all that well, so that’s probably why this would never happen.

Ford Loses 6 Billion, Insists It’s Fine, Really

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The Ford Motor Company gave a press conference today and insisted that despite losing almost $6 billion this quarter, it’s quite fine, thank you.  In a Monty-Python Black Knight moment, Ford claimed that the loss was only a flesh wound, and that it was in fighting shape.  While it hopped around on it’s one remaining leg, bloody stumps spurting, Ford said that it expects to lose a LOT less money next year, and to come back here and fight like a man.  Clearly woozy from the loss of blood, Ford slurred that it would be ready to sell cars that no one can currently afford in the current recession, and that it would return to health any day now.

“There’s no need for that government-lended $9 billion line of credit, really.  We don’t expect to need any government money, at all, unless things get, you know, really bad.”  Ford said, all the while blood stained $100 bills fell from every pocket as it swayed back and forth unsteadily.

Still, Ford looked to be at least ambulatory, unlike Chrysler, who was passed out on the floor, and GM who had it’s head jammed into the dirt enthusiastically, mumbling something about “..electric cars? ready any day now!”.