{"id":1048,"date":"2008-02-11T08:50:58","date_gmt":"2008-02-11T13:50:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/11\/vallentynes-valentines-day-guide-to-romance\/"},"modified":"2008-02-11T08:50:58","modified_gmt":"2008-02-11T13:50:58","slug":"vallentynes-valentines-day-guide-to-romance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2008\/02\/11\/vallentynes-valentines-day-guide-to-romance\/","title":{"rendered":"Vallentyne’s Valentine’s Day Guide to Romance"},"content":{"rendered":"

In early February this site sees search traffic skyrocket due to lousy spellers looking for loev<\/strong>.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, ok so that doesn’t really happen at all, but sometimes you have to fudge the truth to make things topical ok?<\/p>\n

In any case, I have previously mentioned<\/a> some sure-fire tips to woo and wow your wonderful woman.\u00c2\u00a0 Wow, see what I did there?.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0I highly recommend that you read\u00c2\u00a0that post and think to yourself, now what can I (you) do to make the woman of my (your) dreams (not Bea Arthur<\/a> or Rue McClanahan<\/a>, your wife\/girlfriend) remember why it is that she keeps my(your) sorry arse around?\u00c2\u00a0 Yes, yes it’s a fabricated holiday made up by the greeting card company, we all know that.\u00c2\u00a0 You don’t need an excuse to be romantic, you could do it any old day of the year, sure.\u00c2\u00a0 You do, don’t you?\u00c2\u00a0 If you can’t recall exactly when the last time you were spontaneously romantic, perhaps you should<\/strong> let Hallmark and Nestle steer you gently into spending a few dollars on a freaking card and some chocolates.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a good idea to show up on occasions like these, they are the minimum, the lowest romantic common denominator let’s say.\u00c2\u00a0 The dames\u00c2\u00a0dig it.\u00c2\u00a0 For other great ideas on what the skirts love to see, check out last year’s advice<\/a>.<\/p>\n

That’s what it’s all about, fellas.\u00c2\u00a0 Show off your romantic prowess, it pays.\u00c2\u00a0 You might even get some, if you remembered to brush your teeth and back hair.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

**Disclaimer**<\/p>\n

I know nothing about women.\u00c2\u00a0 Nikki is clearly out of my league, but fortunately for me she hit her head pretty hard in her early 20’s and hasn’t been quite right since.\u00c2\u00a0 So, she thinks I’m Brad Pitt.\u00c2\u00a0 A terrible tragedy for her, but I’m certainly not going to get her head fixed, I’m not stupid.\u00c2\u00a0 As a result, take any romantic advice from me at your own peril.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In early February this site sees search traffic skyrocket due to lousy spellers looking for loev.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, ok so that doesn’t really happen at all, but sometimes you have to fudge the truth to make things topical ok? In any … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1048","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-stupidity"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-gU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1048","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1048"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1048\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1048"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1048"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1048"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}