{"id":1226,"date":"2008-09-10T15:10:17","date_gmt":"2008-09-10T19:10:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=1226"},"modified":"2008-09-10T15:10:17","modified_gmt":"2008-09-10T19:10:17","slug":"god-fearing-singles-likely-to-remain-so","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2008\/09\/10\/god-fearing-singles-likely-to-remain-so\/","title":{"rendered":"God Fearing Singles likely to remain so"},"content":{"rendered":"

The first line of the article<\/a> sums it all up nicely:<\/p>\n

Dwindling congregations and a lack of experience in relationships have left many churchgoers struggling to find a partner, according to clergy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Nevermind just how the celibate clergy can really evaluate just what constitutes a “lack of experience”, apparently the solution to this thorny problem is to send those lonely Christians off to relationship workshops to give them “pointers”.<\/p>\n

Peter Spalton, known as the dating doctor, said that churchgoers tended to be more reserved and could benefit from tips on how to appear more attractive.<\/p>\n

Lessons include how to greet someone, how to hold good eye contact and how to judge whether the other person wants to be kissed at the end of the evening.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Whoa there padre! \u00c2\u00a0Kissing on a first date? \u00c2\u00a0What kind of a heathen organization is this? \u00c2\u00a0Maybe some chaste hand-holding, properly chaperoned, but kissing? \u00c2\u00a0Sounds a bit racy, don’t you think?<\/p>\n

I’m joking of course, but the article doesn’t take itself too seriously (fortunately) and lists some of the Christian pick-up lines that users of a churchy on-line dating site submitted. \u00c2\u00a0They are actually pretty funny.<\/p>\n

‘Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives. He never met you.’<\/p>\n

‘Is this pew taken?’<\/p>\n

‘I just don’t feel called to celibacy.’<\/p>\n

‘You float my ark.’<\/p>\n

‘I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.’<\/p>\n

‘My parents are home, wanna come over?’<\/p>\n

‘Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV travel bible in your pocket?’<\/p>\n

‘Let me sell you an indulgence – it’s a sin to look as good as you.’<\/p>\n

‘How many times do I have to walk around you before you fall for me?”<\/p>\n

‘I like to arrange the substantial Christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. Coffee?”<\/p>\n

‘The name is Will. God’s Will.’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gold, pure gold. \u00c2\u00a0Not the false idol kind, either. \u00c2\u00a0Saw the link on Neatorama<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The first line of the article sums it all up nicely: Dwindling congregations and a lack of experience in relationships have left many churchgoers struggling to find a partner, according to clergy. Nevermind just how the celibate clergy can really … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-stupidity"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-jM","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1226"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1227,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226\/revisions\/1227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}