{"id":1341,"date":"2008-11-10T08:00:06","date_gmt":"2008-11-10T12:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=1341"},"modified":"2008-11-07T17:23:41","modified_gmt":"2008-11-07T21:23:41","slug":"crotch-robot-lets-you-get-your-electronic-freak-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2008\/11\/10\/crotch-robot-lets-you-get-your-electronic-freak-on\/","title":{"rendered":"Crotch Robot lets you get your electronic freak on…."},"content":{"rendered":"

….in the most boring way possible. \u00c2\u00a0Another entry in the rush to create cybernetic old people who will kill us all, Honda revealed a freaky robot<\/a> that you sit on, and it helps you walk and crouch, and eventually, chase after normal people with relentless metallic stomping sounds coming closer closer….<\/p>\n

Actually it’s a lot less exciting and deathy than all that. \u00c2\u00a0It seems that it’s really only good for making you look absolutely ridiculous, some sort of cybernetic taint surgically grafted to your nether regions, the result of a secret government project to rebuild that poor fella’s damaged groin. \u00c2\u00a0Just have a look at the picture and tell me you don’t hear that tch-tch-tch-tch Steve Austin sound in your head as he is walking. \u00c2\u00a0Methinks that the robo-chafing would soon render the wearer grumpy and eventually nardless.<\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So, if this is part of some grand plan to kill us all, it seems that it would be from oxygen deprivation as we watch the elderly army of the Robotaint-enhanced clomp towards us and fall over laughing.<\/p>\n

Previous robotic ridiculousness.<\/p>\n

Robo-Fido<\/a><\/p>\n

A very similar (yet not as funny) homicidal device from the company destined to doom us all.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

….in the most boring way possible. \u00c2\u00a0Another entry in the rush to create cybernetic old people who will kill us all, Honda revealed a freaky robot that you sit on, and it helps you walk and crouch, and eventually, chase … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apocalypse-soon","category-tech"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-lD","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1341"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1341\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1345,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1341\/revisions\/1345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}