{"id":1489,"date":"2009-01-29T11:02:22","date_gmt":"2009-01-29T15:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=1489"},"modified":"2009-01-29T11:02:22","modified_gmt":"2009-01-29T15:02:22","slug":"ford-loses-6-billion-insists-its-fine-really","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/29\/ford-loses-6-billion-insists-its-fine-really\/","title":{"rendered":"Ford Loses 6 Billion, Insists It’s Fine, Really"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Ford Motor Company gave a press conference today and insisted that despite losing almost $6 billion this quarter<\/a>, it’s quite fine, thank you.\u00c2\u00a0 In a Monty-Python Black Knight moment, Ford claimed that the loss was only a flesh wound, and that it was in fighting shape.\u00c2\u00a0 While it hopped around on it’s one remaining leg, bloody stumps spurting, Ford said that it expects to lose a LOT less money next year, and to come back here and fight like a man.\u00c2\u00a0 Clearly woozy from the loss of blood, Ford slurred that it would be ready to sell cars that no one can currently afford in the current recession, and that it would return to health any day now.<\/p>\n

“There’s no need for that government-lended $9 billion line of credit, really.\u00c2\u00a0 We don’t expect to need any government money, at all, unless things get, you know, really<\/strong> bad.”\u00c2\u00a0 Ford said, all the while blood stained $100 bills fell from every pocket as it swayed back and forth unsteadily.<\/p>\n

Still, Ford looked to be at least ambulatory, unlike Chrysler, who was passed out on the floor, and GM who had it’s head jammed into the dirt enthusiastically, mumbling something about “..electric cars? ready any day now!”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Ford Motor Company gave a press conference today and insisted that despite losing almost $6 billion this quarter, it’s quite fine, thank you.\u00c2\u00a0 In a Monty-Python Black Knight moment, Ford claimed that the loss was only a flesh wound, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4,5,6],"tags":[34,35,32,33],"class_list":["post-1489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apocalypse-soon","category-news","category-stupidity","tag-cars","tag-denial","tag-ford","tag-money"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-o1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1489"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1490,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1489\/revisions\/1490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}