{"id":151,"date":"2003-09-24T12:15:17","date_gmt":"2003-09-24T12:15:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=151"},"modified":"2006-08-27T20:31:42","modified_gmt":"2006-08-27T20:31:42","slug":"ok-so-i-hope-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2003\/09\/24\/ok-so-i-hope-i\/","title":{"rendered":"Ok, so I hope I"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ok, so I hope I don’t start just looking for the stupidest people alive to talk about here, but here’s a story<\/a> about a woman who couldn’t manage to open a 2L pop bottle without the cap hitting her in the eye and causing some permanent damage. Of course she’s not that stupid because she’s suing Coke over it.<\/p>\n

Quote: “In the suit, Douglas claimed the company failed to warn consumers of the serious risk in ordinary handling of a pop bottle. The company failed to do its research and testing so carbonated drinks wouldn’t cause harm to its customers, said the suit.”<\/p>\n

You know she may have a point. Those things can be dangerous.<\/p>\n

Here’s some other lawsuits to watch for:
\n“I pounded the Q-Tip into my ear with a ball peen hammer and it caused me irreparable hearing loss and brain damage, despite the manufacturer’s claims that it has 30% more cotton on the tip. Give me $100 million.”
\n“I shredded the tip of my finger off with my food processor when I attempted to push a pea into the hopper with my bare hand. Shredded peas are an important part of my Shaolin Monk diet, give me $50 million.”<\/p>\n

When will our environment more efficiently cull the herd? It’s only a matter of time before people become stupid enough to take themselves out in even greater numbers than ever before. Right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ok, so I hope I don’t start just looking for the stupidest people alive to talk about here, but here’s a story about a woman who couldn’t manage to open a 2L pop bottle without the cap hitting her in … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","category-stupidity"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-2r","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}