{"id":1974,"date":"2009-10-26T15:57:50","date_gmt":"2009-10-26T19:57:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=1974"},"modified":"2009-10-26T15:57:50","modified_gmt":"2009-10-26T19:57:50","slug":"was-jesus-a-zombie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2009\/10\/26\/was-jesus-a-zombie\/","title":{"rendered":"Was Jesus a Zombie?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Before you accuse me of sacrilege, does it help to know that the title of this post is not my own, but rather the utterance of my 5 year old son?\u00c2\u00a0 Probably not, but still it wasn&#8217;t me this time.<\/p>\n<p>Allow me to relay the whole story.<\/p>\n<p>Nikki and Cael were having yet another one of their conversations (anyone who knows a 5 year old knows that there is actually only one conversation, it starts around the 4th birthday, and just never ends until about the 7th birthday).\u00c2\u00a0 This excerpt goes something like this:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Cael: &#8220;You never come back after you die, right Mom?\u00c2\u00a0 Except for Jesus?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Nikki: &lt;yikes&gt; &#8220;That&#8217;s right Cael.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Cael: &#8220;Huh.\u00c2\u00a0 So, was Jesus a zombie?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Nikki: &#8220;Ah, no.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Cael: &#8220;Huh.\u00c2\u00a0 Did he have to dig his way out through all of the dirt?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Nikki: &#8220;No, he was in a tomb and moved a rock.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Cael: &#8220;Oh.\u00c2\u00a0 I&#8217;ll bet he said&#8230;&#8221; (and this part was in his best Jack Nicholson wheeze, with the finger guns <a href=\"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2009\/10\/21\/i-have-a-smile-that-says-hello-world\/\" target=\"_blank\">demonstrated previously<\/a>) &#8220;It&#8217;s good to be back!&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Sometimes you hear something so obvious you wonder how it never hit you before.\u00c2\u00a0 The idea that the Bible was actually a zombie story is so fundamentally awesome that I really have to give Cael credit here.\u00c2\u00a0 He definitely has given this some thought.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, there you go.\u00c2\u00a0 Now that we have hit new levels of irreverence and sacrilege, I guess I should probably just go outside and shut my eyes and await the (by now inevitable) smiting.<\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, I will not be the first to be smoten, there seems to have been a <a href=\"http:\/\/zombiejesusisback.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">long line<\/a> of <a href=\"http:\/\/3dayslater.net\/\" target=\"_blank\">people<\/a> who have had this idea before (be sure to friend Zombie Jesus on Facebook!).\u00c2\u00a0 But I bet they didn&#8217;t think of it when they were only 5.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Before you accuse me of sacrilege, does it help to know that the title of this post is not my own, but rather the utterance of my 5 year old son?\u00c2\u00a0 Probably not, but still it wasn&#8217;t me this time. &hellip; 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