{"id":2077,"date":"2010-01-22T16:39:22","date_gmt":"2010-01-22T20:39:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=2077"},"modified":"2010-01-22T16:39:22","modified_gmt":"2010-01-22T20:39:22","slug":"human-bed-warmer-i-already-have-that-job","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2010\/01\/22\/human-bed-warmer-i-already-have-that-job\/","title":{"rendered":"Human bed-warmer? I already have that job…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m having a hard time believing this one, but there’s been some coverage of this story today for some unknown reason.\u00c2\u00a0 Apparently the cold winter weather in the UK has prompted the Holiday Inn in London to offer “human bed warmers<\/a>” as a service to clients.\u00c2\u00a0 Yes, for a fee you can pay for someone to get into your bed (before you are ready to turn in) dressed in “an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit”, AKA “Teletubby” to pre-warm your bed for you.\u00c2\u00a0 Apparently this individual will then leave the bed toasty warm for you to climb into.\u00c2\u00a0 Um, ick.<\/p>\n

“The new Holiday Inn bed warmers service is a bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, sure, if your hot water bottle at home is a barely employable guy named Ed.\u00c2\u00a0 Seriously, this can’t be for real, for several reasons.<\/p>\n

1. That’s nasty and creepy, and for many of us the embodiment of a nightmare.<\/p>\n

2. Isn’t that why they have maids?\u00c2\u00a0 To avoid that hotel “I’m climbing into this bed just after a stranger got out of it” sensation?<\/p>\n

3. For an extra $20 you can have the “Dutch extra special” where Ed eats a can of beans just before climbing between the sheets…<\/p>\n

4. So, juust before bed, you call down and have Ed come up, scuffling his oversized fleeced feet along the carpet.\u00c2\u00a0 With a nod, he passes you when you open the door and climbs right into bed, pulling the blankets up to his whiskery chin.\u00c2\u00a0 Uncertain of what to do, you continue with your evening, climbing onto the bed beside Ed and restarting the movie.\u00c2\u00a0 Ed says: “Oh, I love Planes, Trains and Automobiles!\u00c2\u00a0 This part is hilarious…\u00c2\u00a0 You gonna finish those Doritos?”<\/p>\n

Perhaps there is another angle to this I am not getting.\u00c2\u00a0 Anyone?<\/p>\n

Saw this on Neatorama<\/a> first.<\/p>\n

Extra bonus:\u00c2\u00a0 I have had this job for 10 years now, but I have a very small clientele, just one bed actually.\u00c2\u00a0 We have talked about it before<\/a>…<\/p>\n

Extra extra bonus: …and now you know why no-one wants to wake up with Bed Ed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m having a hard time believing this one, but there’s been some coverage of this story today for some unknown reason.\u00c2\u00a0 Apparently the cold winter weather in the UK has prompted the Holiday Inn in London to offer “human bed … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,1],"tags":[227],"class_list":["post-2077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","category-uncategorized","tag-bed-ed"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-xv","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2077","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2077"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2077\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2078,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2077\/revisions\/2078"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}