{"id":2159,"date":"2010-05-20T07:56:15","date_gmt":"2010-05-20T11:56:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=2159"},"modified":"2010-05-20T07:56:15","modified_gmt":"2010-05-20T11:56:15","slug":"lawn-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2010\/05\/20\/lawn-care\/","title":{"rendered":"Lawn Care"},"content":{"rendered":"

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It’s good to touch the green, green grass of home.<\/p>\n

I love a nice, rich, full lawn as much as the next moron.\u00c2\u00a0 However, it seems that my other love of enormous four-legged animals is in direct opposition of this.\u00c2\u00a0 To call our pathetic grass a lawn is a bit generous, as anyone who has been to our house in the last ten years knows. At least in the front yard, where the dogs dole out daily punishment in the form of steamy yellow rivers.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s no escape for my grass, even in the winter when Lloyd melts canyons through three feet of ice and snow to poison the frozen turf underneath.<\/p>\n

The back yard fares a bit better since the dogs don’t get back there quite as often, but it faces another yellow menace: dandelions.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

Since I am too much of a tree hugger to really put anything on the lawn that would handle that problem (organic fertilizer snake oil salespeople, I’m looking at you) we end up with lots of dandelions.\u00c2\u00a0 Lots and lots of dandelions.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s a reason why we have so many, it’s right next door. Not sure if you can tell from this poorly lit cellphone pic, but that’s not a blanket of fresh snow in the park beside our house, folks.<\/p>\n

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Anyway, I was cutting the grass for the first time this year and I stumbled across what must be the first step in the dandelion revolution: the dandelion missile.\u00c2\u00a0 Here’s a couple of blurry shots, you can see it has a separate stem inside the launcherlion.<\/p>\n

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It seems clear to me that this dandelion was preparing to launch not only seeds, but a fully grown plant right into the air.\u00c2\u00a0 Who knows what they were planning, but it seems I have thwarted them for now, even accidentally.<\/p>\n

What horror would have been unleashed had their dastardly plan come to fruition?\u00c2\u00a0 We may never know.\u00c2\u00a0 I will be watching for the next thing, however.\u00c2\u00a0 Heed the grass, folks.<\/p>\n

Yes people, even our dandelions have dandelions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s good to touch the green, green grass of home. I love a nice, rich, full lawn as much as the next moron.\u00c2\u00a0 However, it seems that my other love of enormous four-legged animals is in direct opposition of this.\u00c2\u00a0 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,123],"tags":[253],"class_list":["post-2159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-news","category-llife-with-lloyd","tag-i-am-the-dandelion-king"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-yP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2159"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2171,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2159\/revisions\/2171"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}