{"id":2314,"date":"2010-10-07T13:07:22","date_gmt":"2010-10-07T17:07:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=2314"},"modified":"2010-10-07T13:07:22","modified_gmt":"2010-10-07T17:07:22","slug":"one-sick-monkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2010\/10\/07\/one-sick-monkey\/","title":{"rendered":"One Sick Monkey"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s a possibility that I am sick.<\/p>\n

I never get sick.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s really rare, I’m pretty lucky that way.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s so rare that I think I miss the warning signs that other people might readily see as pending sickness.\u00c2\u00a0 If I saw them, I might take steps to avoid sickness, but instead I blunder headlong into sick like Lloyd on wet tile.\u00c2\u00a0 If only I had just slept a bit longer I might have avoided the whole thing.\u00c2\u00a0 Dang.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I now will leave work during the middle of the day (gasp!) and sleep the sleep of the billing guilt (shock!).\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what you do when you don’t get paid sick days, every second of convalescence is spent measuring whether or not you are in fact well enough to get back to work and continue billing.\u00c2\u00a0 It doesn’t bother me that much, but mostly because I am never sick (remember?).\u00c2\u00a0 If this is a problem for you, I strongly advise against contracting as a form of employment.\u00c2\u00a0 The billing monkey never leaves, always watching, always screeching at you from the corner if you aren’t billing on a weekday.\u00c2\u00a0 Damn monkey.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s making me reconsider going home to sleep right now.\u00c2\u00a0 “If you can write that blog post, how sick can you really be?\u00c2\u00a0 You are able to just sit there and be sick and still bill, it’s not like you are a trapeze artist for Pete’s sake. Just tough it out for a few more hours to fill up your day and then go home and I will let you sleep in peace, really I will.”; quoth the monkey.\u00c2\u00a0 When monkeys speak, always use “quoth”.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Still trying to decide if the blasted monkey is right.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe I should fling some poo at him sometime, instead of the other way around.\u00c2\u00a0 See how he likes it.<\/p>\n

You guys can see the monkey, right?\u00c2\u00a0 Over there in the corner?\u00c2\u00a0 The one gibbering?\u00c2\u00a0 No, not that one, the other one.<\/p>\n

Ah.<\/p>\n

Right then, going home to sleep!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There’s a possibility that I am sick. I never get sick.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s really rare, I’m pretty lucky that way.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s so rare that I think I miss the warning signs that other people might readily see as pending sickness.\u00c2\u00a0 If … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[285,286],"class_list":["post-2314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stupidity","tag-billing-monkey","tag-sick"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-Bk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2314"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2316,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2314\/revisions\/2316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}