{"id":2946,"date":"2012-11-22T13:37:21","date_gmt":"2012-11-22T17:37:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=2946"},"modified":"2012-11-22T13:37:21","modified_gmt":"2012-11-22T17:37:21","slug":"a-monument-to-laziness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2012\/11\/22\/a-monument-to-laziness\/","title":{"rendered":"A Monument to Laziness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I can wallow in laziness as well as the next man, naturally.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean it took me a decade to even begin to build a deck on my house. A DECADE.\u00c2\u00a0 Or more accurately, a DECKADE (which is approximately 11 years, and 6 months and counting because the deck ain&#8217;t done&#8230;.\u00c2\u00a0 but I digress).\u00c2\u00a0 But this story is a monument to laziness:\u00c2\u00a0 Someone left a hatch open on a church tower and some birds flew in and crapped on the floor.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh wait, they left the thing open sometime IN THE 1980s. For anyone following along at home, that&#8217;s 30 years or so that they just couldn&#8217;t be bothered to shut the darn thing.\u00c2\u00a0 Now that&#8217;s laziness.\u00c2\u00a0 A testament to laziness.\u00c2\u00a0 An Old Testament to Laziness(tm)\u00c2\u00a0 ( I wrote this post just for that joke, right there).\u00c2\u00a0 Wait, isn&#8217;t one of the deadly sins being lazy?\u00c2\u00a0 I&#8217;m not the most churchinated person around, but that&#8217;s not exactly walking the walk folks.<\/p>\n<p>Needless to say, birds did what birds do, and do they did, to the tune of about 2 tons of bird crap inside the tower.\u00c2\u00a0 Hard to imagine they didn&#8217;t notice this before now, really.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean how do you miss 30 cm of bird shit on the floor?\u00c2\u00a0 Those are some seriously distracted people.\u00c2\u00a0 Did they finally clue in when they started hitting their heads on the doorways?<\/p>\n<p>Ok, I&#8217;m done.\u00c2\u00a0 Back to being lazy in my own way.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/metronews.ca\/news\/world\/449715\/2-tons-of-pigeon-droppings-in-swedish-church-tower\/\">2 Tons of Crap in a Church, which is a low number by most people&#8217;s estimation<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I can wallow in laziness as well as the next man, naturally.\u00c2\u00a0 I mean it took me a decade to even begin to build a deck on my house. A DECADE.\u00c2\u00a0 Or more accurately, a DECKADE (which is approximately 11 &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2012\/11\/22\/a-monument-to-laziness\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[378],"class_list":["post-2946","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","category-stupidity","tag-old-testament-to-laziness"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-Lw","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2946","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2946"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2946\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2948,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2946\/revisions\/2948"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2946"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2946"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2946"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}