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<\/a><\/p>\nThey are pretty awesome, just look at those suckers.\u00c2\u00a0 Everybody loves them, there is lots of evidence of this.\u00c2\u00a0 Not me.\u00c2\u00a0 I hate them.<\/p>\n It’s not that I hate how they taste, but I do.\u00c2\u00a0 I find them too sweet, in general. \u00c2\u00a0Cake is ruined by all that toothache-inducing icing.\u00c2\u00a0 Cake wouldn’t nearly have the reputation it has if we always just served it without icing.\u00c2\u00a0 But this post\u00c2\u00a0is not about the taste of cake.<\/p>\n I’m jealous of cake because of the time it takes away from my life.\u00c2\u00a0 When Nikki sets out to make a cake for someone (and in all honesty it’s always someone we are very close to, and to those people who have received a cake recently or are about to receive a cake, please realize that I don’t hate you<\/strong>, in fact the very reason you got a cake is because we love you, but it’s actually\u00c2\u00a0your stinking disgusting terrible birthday cake that I hate), it takes HOURS of planning from concept design, shopping for the right supplies and props, and then baking the damn thing.\u00c2\u00a0 Then comes the worst part: Hundreds of curse-filled hunched over bleary hours assembling, rolling, smoothing, agonizing, trimming, all the while gibbering and gnashing and shrieking.<\/p>\n Note that I do all of this while Nikki calmly, cheerfully and efficiently makes the cake, occasionally asking me to gibber more quietly.<\/p>\n It’s not that she sucks at making cakes, she’s really really\u00c2\u00a0good at it, it’s that by the end of that damn cake I am jealous of the time she spends on it and not me.\u00c2\u00a0 There, I said it.\u00c2\u00a0 Cake making time is after all the other things have been done, time that should be spent on me, obviously.\u00c2\u00a0 I deserve that time, clearly, because I am far more interesting, not as crumby (usually), less demanding (just), and contain fewer calories.<\/p>\n In conclusion, cake has done nothing for me, and for that, I hate<\/strong>, yes, hate it.<\/p>\n I feel better now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Nikki makes cakes.\u00c2\u00a0 They are very cool. They are pretty awesome, just look at those suckers.\u00c2\u00a0 Everybody loves them, there is lots of evidence of this.\u00c2\u00a0 Not me.\u00c2\u00a0 I hate them. It’s not that I hate how they taste, but … Continue reading ![\"Hellish](\"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/V__DBE4.jpg\")
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