{"id":3844,"date":"2017-04-19T21:09:06","date_gmt":"2017-04-20T01:09:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=3844"},"modified":"2017-04-19T21:09:06","modified_gmt":"2017-04-20T01:09:06","slug":"vallentynesnarl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2017\/04\/19\/vallentynesnarl\/","title":{"rendered":"The Vallentyne Work Snarl"},"content":{"rendered":"

I do not speak for all Vallentynes. \u00c2\u00a0That would be foolish, unwise, unfair, unjust and just plain old tiring. \u00c2\u00a0We are a diverse bunch, as far as Scottish Canadians with a lot of red hair in the bloodlines get. \u00c2\u00a0Ok, so we are probably diverse in nature more than appearance, but just follow along here today, ok? \u00c2\u00a0I speak actually for a certain strain of Vallentyne, a unique flavour of Vallentyne. \u00c2\u00a0The kind of Vallentyne I’m talking about today is the Vallentyne that grimaces when they work hard<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

It’s probably a genetic thing, a DNA encoded quirk that some of us are lucky enough to have (I said lucky, dammit). \u00c2\u00a0If you have it, you know what I am talking about; it’s there as natural as breathing, as compulsory as a closed-eye sneeze, the reflex to snarl or open and close your jaw as you work hard with your hands.<\/p>\n

I decided to not take a selfie to demonstrate this, for obvious reasons. \u00c2\u00a0It’s not pretty. \u00c2\u00a0It can only be described as a silent scream in defiance of the task at hand, without which the work is just not done<\/em>. \u00c2\u00a0When you see a Vallentyne snarling while scrubbing, shoveling, lifting, scraping, tightening, or just generally getting all up in some job’s face, you know shit is getting real. \u00c2\u00a0It’s going down. \u00c2\u00a0That job doesn’t know what hit it. \u00c2\u00a0 It’s not a fair fight, really. \u00c2\u00a0Not every job requires it, but in the right hands it’s a powerful tool.<\/p>\n

Tonight as I contemplated writing this, I was working around the house, snarling periodically. \u00c2\u00a0One thing became clear though, it’s not always an advantage. \u00c2\u00a0This fact came to me as I realized that I had to exert a considerable amount of control to close my damn mouth while I scrubbed the toilet. \u00c2\u00a0The added closed-mouth handicap added at least 10 minutes to that job, which made me think that Vallentyne Work Bandanas would be a thing that might be useful to a small, specific bunch of fine, mouth-breathing, hardworking folks.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Yeah, this is me.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I do not speak for all Vallentynes. \u00c2\u00a0That would be foolish, unwise, unfair, unjust and just plain old tiring. \u00c2\u00a0We are a diverse bunch, as far as Scottish Canadians with a lot of red hair in the bloodlines get. \u00c2\u00a0Ok, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3845,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[455],"class_list":["post-3844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-news","tag-he-could-have-been-yawning-or-snarling"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/snarl.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-100","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3844"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3844\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3850,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3844\/revisions\/3850"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}