{"id":484,"date":"2005-06-21T13:08:02","date_gmt":"2005-06-21T13:08:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vallentyne.com\/blog\/?p=484"},"modified":"2005-06-21T13:08:02","modified_gmt":"2005-06-21T13:08:02","slug":"mother-natures-a-crafty-one-but-it-pays-to-work-for-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2005\/06\/21\/mother-natures-a-crafty-one-but-it-pays-to-work-for-her\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother Nature&#8217;s a crafty one, but it pays to work for her"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Things are heating up on the &#8220;bipeds-vs-the rest of the natural world&#8221; war.<\/p>\n<p>First off, more evidence that Mother Nature isn&#8217;t above tampering with things if it works to her advantage.  A <a href=\"http:\/\/www.azcentral.com\/offbeat\/articles\/0617Kitten-ON.html\">report of a cat born with two faces<\/a>, one brain.  Yep, if that isn&#8217;t Mother Nature&#8217;s first cut at replacement politicians, I don&#8217;t know what is.  It can speak out of both sides of it&#8217;s mouth at the same time!  It&#8217;s a natural, and certain to win in the next federal election.<\/p>\n<p>Then we move on to a more puzzling entry in her starting roster.  <a href=\"http:\/\/thestar.com.my\/news\/story.asp?file=\/2005\/6\/19\/nation\/11262103&amp;sec=nation\">This little guy<\/a>.  He&#8217;s adorable, has six legs, two penises, and a really long tongue.  Now, before I jump to any conclusions about what dastardly deeds he is due to unleash on humanity, let&#8217;s just think for a minute about Mother Nature&#8217;s team benefits package.  Seriously.<\/p>\n<p>This little bugger is basically set for life in dog terms.  I mean think about it.  He must be fast, he&#8217;s got 6 legs.  That means he can outrun anything.  He can probably scratch all sorts of places that 4 legs can&#8217;t; less itching, which is a leading cause of dog distress.  Not only that, but do I really need to describe what a dog would do if he had two penises?  Why, run down two people on his six legs and give two people a mighty humping at the same time, that&#8217;s what.  Or pee on twice as many things in 50% of the time.<\/p>\n<p>Man, that little dog has a very happy future ahead of him.  I&#8217;m a little jealous.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Things are heating up on the &#8220;bipeds-vs-the rest of the natural world&#8221; war. First off, more evidence that Mother Nature isn&#8217;t above tampering with things if it works to her advantage. A report of a cat born with two faces, &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/2005\/06\/21\/mother-natures-a-crafty-one-but-it-pays-to-work-for-her\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apocalypse-soon"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/piGNU-7O","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=484"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/484\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vallentyne.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}