Here’s a recent outbreak of stupid news for your reading pleasure:<\/p>\n
An obscenely rich casino owner was trying to sell a Picasso worth $139 million when he accidentally put his elbow through it while talking up it’s merits to the prospective buyer. The article says he has problems with his peripheral vision and a tendency to gesture with his hands. One thing this experience will teach him is that it’s a good thing he went mostly into casinos and not Ming vases. Better him than me, that much is sure. – Dumb Rich guy ruins priceless Picasso<\/a><\/p>\n Stingrays continue their relentless war on humans by attacking an 80 year old man. A stingray jumped into this guy’s boat and stung him in the chest, a la Steve Irwin. When will the madness end? – If this doesn’t mean we should kill all of the stingrays, I don’t know what.<\/a><\/p>\n The Kazakhstan Central Bank released some new bills recently, with only one small problem. They mis-spelled the word “bank” on them. It’s a little hard to take seriously, isn’t it? You just can’t make this stuff up. – Queer as a $3 “bonk” note.<\/a><\/p>\n And finally, an Austrian roofer with the shakes (oh, jeez that one kills me) managed to attach himself to the roof of the building he was on with a 4 inch roofing nail delivered by the nailgun he was carrying. It turns out he was then unable to free himself and had to call for help using his cell phone. I’m not that surprised he wasn’t able to free himself because the kicker is, he somehow managed to shoot the nail through his left nut. Let me clarify that again:\u00c2\u00a0 The man was attached to the roof by a four inch nail through HIS LEFT TESTICLE and the news story has the balls (obligatory) to say he was “unable to extract it or pull himself away from the roof”. Are you frigging kidding me? I’m sure he was relieved that anyone could even understand him on the phone, I would probably be doing the “scream until my lungs have no air and I pass out” bit. I don’t even want to visualize the extraction of the nail from the roof…. squick. – Too many puns to be made, just think of one for yourself.<\/a><\/p>\n That’s all for today, but don’t you think that’s enough?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Here’s a recent outbreak of stupid news for your reading pleasure: An obscenely rich casino owner was trying to sell a Picasso worth $139 million when he accidentally put his elbow through it while talking up it’s merits to the … Continue reading