If it weren’t for rednecks the world would be a lot, well, probably smarter.

Apparently in the cracks and crevices of pretty much any southern state are “fishermen” who honour an age-old tradition of “noodling”. This sport involves getting into the water of your favourite river, looking for a hole or otherwise dark sheltered spot that could shelter anything, and stick your bare hand into the hole. Hopefully (their word, not mine) a huge catfish will bite your hand, allowing you to grab onto it (why would you need to at this point, it grabbed you for crying out loud) and haul it to the surface. The key, apparently is to only fish in shallow water. That way, the often 50lb+ catfish doesn’t prevent you from doing things like breathing. Of course there are lots of other things that could bite you that aren’t catfish, but you have no way of knowing before you stick your hand into the dark hole.

When a hand is inserted, the fish may nip, bite or, if large enough, engulf the noodler’s hand. The cat may spin, causing the sandpaper-like teeth to shred the noodler’s skin. For this reason, some noodlers wear gloves, though most believe this hinders the sense of touch necessary for determining the type of creature in the hole, its position and the best method for gaining a handhold.

Wow.