The first line of the article sums it all up nicely:
Dwindling congregations and a lack of experience in relationships have left many churchgoers struggling to find a partner, according to clergy.
Nevermind just how the celibate clergy can really evaluate just what constitutes a “lack of experience”, apparently the solution to this thorny problem is to send those lonely Christians off to relationship workshops to give them “pointers”.
Peter Spalton, known as the dating doctor, said that churchgoers tended to be more reserved and could benefit from tips on how to appear more attractive.
Lessons include how to greet someone, how to hold good eye contact and how to judge whether the other person wants to be kissed at the end of the evening.
Whoa there padre! Â Kissing on a first date? Â What kind of a heathen organization is this? Â Maybe some chaste hand-holding, properly chaperoned, but kissing? Â Sounds a bit racy, don’t you think?
I’m joking of course, but the article doesn’t take itself too seriously (fortunately) and lists some of the Christian pick-up lines that users of a churchy on-line dating site submitted. Â They are actually pretty funny.
‘Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives. He never met you.’
‘Is this pew taken?’
‘I just don’t feel called to celibacy.’
‘You float my ark.’
‘I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.’
‘My parents are home, wanna come over?’
‘Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV travel bible in your pocket?’
‘Let me sell you an indulgence – it’s a sin to look as good as you.’
‘How many times do I have to walk around you before you fall for me?”
‘I like to arrange the substantial Christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. Coffee?”
‘The name is Will. God’s Will.’
Gold, pure gold. Â Not the false idol kind, either. Â Saw the link on Neatorama.