I was sifting through some old emails last night that I had archived and came upon this little gem that I sent out to a chosen few back when I was carrying Quinn. It made me laugh to remember exactly how in tune I was to what people said, did, and how they acted around me. Enjoy.
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Nicole Vallentyne wrote:
So…
It would seem that yesterday and today mark the dawn of a new phase in pregnancy, and quite frankly, my least favourite.  This new phase I will refer to as gigantism.  Let me give you a few examples of how I am aware I have hit this particular phase.

Yesterday I am all set to leave the house and pick up Jordynn on the corner from the bus.  On my way I run into a neighbour that I haven’t seen in a few weeks.  Upon seeing me he says, “WHOA-HO!   When are you due?” To which I reply, “About 2 weeks.”  The conversation is ended with him wishing me luck.  Luck how I wonder?

Not even five minutes pass when I see my other neighbour Louise, who says upon seeing me, “OH MY GOD NIKKI!YOUR STOMACH IS SOOO BIG!  You look like you’re going to explode.  That is a big baby.  Oh you poor dear.”

Thanks a million!

So then we have today to reinforce any doubt I may have had about entering this new phase.  Court and I go out for lunch, and I return from a restroom trip only to find many individuals unabashedly staring at me.  Not staring at me in that adoring way of saying,   “Oh, how wonderful.  She’s carrying a new life within.”  Oh no, it’s more like a gawking   “Good Heavens!”   kind of look.

Again, thanks a million!

To top it all off though, and this one really takes the friggin’ cake; I go into Bouclair today to pick up some material for a project I’m working on for Jordy’s room.  To make a long story short, I had some material put aside from another store I was at in order to get all that I needed.  As soon as I walk in, I quietly ask a lady at the cutting counter, “Excuse me, do you have a washroom?”

To which she yells at another worker at the other end of the store, “CAN YOU TAKE HER TO THE BATHROOM, SHE NEEDS TO GO!”

Great.  So this other girl sees me (somehow) and says, “Are you the lady here for the white eyelet?”

I naively say, “Yes, how did you know?”

She replies, “Fern called and said that you were pregnant and big, and that I couldn’t miss you.”

All I could do was smile, and walk up to her and say, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE WHO ABSENTMINDEDLY FLAP YOUR CAKEHOLES AT WOMEN IN THE GIGANTISM PHASE OF PREGNANCY?!?!?!?!!??”

…Unfortunately, that is NOT the correct ending of the story, however it is fun to fantasize about.  All is correct except the last sentence where I actually responded, “Great.”

I pity the poor bastard that says one more thing to me today about my gigantism condition.  I swear to God I’ll go hormonal.

That is all.  Thanks for allowing me that little rant.
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