I need to cut the grass.  Pretty badly.  It’s been like a month since I last did it, and the grass has now decided it can just relax because it’s probably never going to happen again.  It has adopted a laid-back posture that only adds to the shaggy appearance of my lawn.  Any mowing effort at this point will require an enormous effort on my part, akin to blazing a trail through the virgin rainforest with a machete, with only my wits, pith helmet and my trusty sidekick Perkins to assist me in mapping the Amazon, only just barely escaping from a misguided but particularly amorous gorilla.

But I digress.

I was talking about the lawn.  Which is rather overgrown.  But as bad as it is, my yard is not quite as bad as this gentleman’s. 

I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say that he doesn’t get along with his neighbours much.  These trees are called leyland cypress trees and they are notoriously fast-growing (known to grow a meter per year), and they are the perfect tree to plant when you have decided that talking sociably to folks on your street is pretty much the last thing on your list of things to do.

In fact, this particular gentleman already lost a battle over a concrete wall he had put up for privacy in his backyard.  Wow.  This guy pretty much defines grumpy.  Or curmudgeon.  Or perhaps axe murderer, if Hollywood movies are right.

Right.  Perkins, my helmet!