Author Archives: Nikki

I Spy With My Little Eye

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Forgive me the parental gushing post that is about to be placed before you. Consider this your warning to skip away now before I load you up on an overdose of innocent sweetness.

It was family day this week and although the family was split up across the city during the day, I took it upon my self to scrounge up whatever Vallentyne’s were left in the house and head out for milkshakes and lunch. The scrounging only surfaced myself, Quinn and Cael. Perfect, this little trio is going to lunch! We brought dominoes, cards and played “I Spy”. When it was my turn, I told the boys the following, “I Spy with my little eye, something that is blue, there are four of them, and they are one of my favourite things to look at. They are usually with me all the time too.” Well this challenge just ROCKED Quinn’s world and Cael was hamming it up. Turned out that I had to give them the answer, which of course was their blue eyes.

So, last night I’m tucking Quinn into bed and I said, “I Spy with my little eye something that is blue, and is one of my favourite things to look at.” He smiles and says, “My eyes.” I said, “Yep! Good job!”

Well here is where the sweetness gauge gets cranked to friggin’ 10!

He says, “I spy with my little eye, something that is SOOOO CUTE, and I love it SOOOO MUCH that it makes me want to cry inside.”

I asked, “Is it your teddy bear?”

Quinn, “No. It’s you!”

Well mop me up and wring me out! There was nothing left of me but a big puddle. What a sweetie. Hopefully my little man will still feel that way in his teenage years 😉

She’s A Bigger Person Than Most

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Teenagers. WOW! They a different animal all together when compared to the whole baby/toddler/elementary stage. It’s incredible the difference in the kids, and I swear it happens overnight. It is a point where the young adults are realizing that they are (or should be in their mind) entitled to a few extra freedoms. It is a time when parents need to release the death grip of instinctive protectiveness that has been in our job description since their birth. Where and when do you find balance? I’ll tell you…every day. Every day is different, and every day you have to reevaluate your opinion on what is age appropriate, what they can handle, and what is out there to hurt them. Even if they can handle what they are asking to do…what dangers lurk that none of us have control over. The world is a dangerous place, and although we can’t live in fear…we must strike a balance. Kids often refuse to see the danger, and focus on how responsible they are capable of being. Two very different arguments as I know most parents will agree.

What have I learned from Jordy? I’ll can tell you, that she has turned me into a better person in her journey to adulthood. Why? Let me explain with a small and weak example (its just the only one I have at the ready);
Night before last Cael was struck with a painful ear infection. We had a rather busy day that day with appointments and skating and recreation activity. Tuesdays are insane at our house for kids stuff. I’m in line just before closing at the drugstore counter to get the prescription filled and Jordy starts a conversation about make up and what the other kids are wearing vs what she is permitted to wear. I look at her and say I want to keep an open mind, but I’m just drained for today, let’s throw mom a bone and shelf this one for later. So,…as any teenager would…the urge to continue is just too great…so it continues. We get into the house, Cael is crying for his meds, and I’m lying in bed consoling him while he whimpers. This is where I’m really impressed….Jordy comes in and kisses Cael, and cuddles him..she does everything she can think of to make him more comfortable. When I get up to get a Kleenex she follows me and says, “I’m sorry mom, I shouldn’t have bugged you when you had all this to deal with too.” WOW! Well done Jordy. At the risk of dragging this post on longer than it needs to be, I feel that she deserves even more credit that the above (weak) example.

Jordy has always been the first to say she is sorry in any situation. It’s never an “I need to make this go away so I’ll apologize” kind of sorry, or a sarcastic one either. I’ve never known any adult, or kid, give a more sincere apology than her. She will come on her own, look you in the eye and say she is sorry and exactly what she is sorry for.

She’s a bigger person than I’ve ever been able to be….and I thank her for the life lesson. I admire that in her, and there is no greater pride than to learn from your kids, and see that they have developed skills beyond your own.

Diversity

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Today was the first of monthly visits I’m scheduled to make to Quinn’s classroom to help out in the mornings. I agreed to once a month, thinking I would do this for both the boys and be at the school once every two weeks. Turns out that the kindergarten class doesn’t need me, but the Grade 1’s were happy to have the help. After today I may be offering up more of my mornings.

Everyone knows every child is different and it is impossibly hard to compare any one child to another. Personalities, learning styles, comprehension, focus, and the general willingness to please (or not) are just a few of the characteristics that you find crammed into one classroom. All of these characteristics can make a classroom very crowded despite the number of children there are inside. Quinn has 16 kids in his classroom. This was amazing news for us considering Jordynn has had up to 31 kids in her classrooms over the years. I think it is wonderful to have a smaller class. You would think it would give a teacher an abundance of time for individual attention. This is not necessarily the case.

I spent the morning with a beautiful little boy who I was told has yet to be “assessed”. This particular little man needs one on one attention to be able to stay focused on a task and unfortunately he does not have an EA. He and I had a very successful morning together and the teachers were happy with his progress. This progress only happens for this little trooper when he has someone working with him. Unfortunately all the other days, when there isn’t the one on one, he does not find the same success or achievement. This broke my heart. This is also hard on the teacher who is unable to give what she obviously wants to give to this student as it would take from all the others. 16 is a rather big number now in my eyes.

Then I saw children who just seemed to not have any respect for the teachers repeated requests to be quiet, pay attention, work on the assignment, or put up their hand. I was however told that today they were a little excitable (likely due to my presence), but I know some of these kids from Quinn and his teachers in past years, and am fully aware of what the teacher has to face every day with some of them, mainly their lack of respect.

Of course among these children are some that have been desensitized to the regular distractions and disruptions of others and coast through their day, following rules, and looking forward to recess to burn off the boredom/frustration.

I guess in a way it is like any job where you are subjected to all different types of personalities, opinions and behaviours. Call it a wakeup call for me though to see firsthand the skills our children learn at such a young age. Given the restrictions put upon our teachers for maintaining order, it appears to me that our kids are forced to grow up a little sooner with the life lesson of tolerance, or sadly, the disservice of just being tolerated.

Let me finish by saying this; I left that classroom this morning with a warm fuzzy in my heart having given to a kid who deserves more that what is presently available to him. We had success. We did the assignment…albeit not easily…and not without steady redirection to the task at hand, but the smile on that little boys face made my cup runeth over. He beamed, puffed out his chest and took his work to the teacher for his well deserved praise. We even did the extra bonus work damn it…and by God he felt good about it. Our shared high-five at the end of that made my day/week/month. The sad part is the ache in my heart for I know that tomorrow may not be as good a day for my new little friend.

There is an ache in my heart for those who will potentially never learn respect for others, and will unfortunately grow up being tolerated, never knowing that isn’t a good quality in life.

There is an ache in my heart for those who are held back from their full potential as a result of having to tolerate others.

Hats off to teachers. Whitney, I think of you often and admire your perseverance, your patience, your tolerance. Today reminded me of my respect for teachers. Especially the good ones. We need them.

So the next time the form comes home in your child’s back pack to see if you are willing to offer up some of your time to volunteer in the classroom…and you could actually make some time….don’t recycle it right away thinking you are already too busy with life and its demands. Think of my little buddy who may only have one morning a month with a mom who didn’t realize how badly she was needed in the first place.

Happy Birthday Court!

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Hey there honey…look at me!  I’m actually posting.  Sometimes it just takes a very important occasion to get me off my butt to do it.

I would say your birthday is just such an occasion.  Definitely worthwhile making an effort to post.  And with that, I am here to say….

Happy Birthday Baby!

Here is a tribute to the many faces of Court we’ve all seen in about the last 10 years or so…Enjoy!

Love ya baby,

Nik

Good-bye Preschool, Hello Kindergarten…

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Today was the last day of Preschool for Cael…EVER.  Yep, his last day of school was today and thus marks the end of the days where I can say I have a “Preschooler” at home.  I think this really only hit me today.  Tugs at the heart strings, so it does – and pretty hard too.  Sure, I’m proud of the little guy.  His social skills (think Casanova) have left Courtney and I in complete admiration of our littlest man.  We thought he’d have trouble without his trusty side-kick Quinn, but much to our surprise, low and behold, the little guy can stand on his own two social feet just fine.  Drummed himself up a set of twin girlfriends to boot.  Not too shabby I’d say.

The whole “Last Day” thing completely escaped Cael though.  He just went about his social business like it was any other day.   The mom’s and I had chats about how it would be sad to see it all end.  It is sad.  I choked back the odd tear or two when hugging the teachers good-bye.  These women really are a special breed there.  No doubt about it.  I have been familiar with the school system for nigh on 8 years now, and have yet to see patience and grace like these women.  Truly an inspiration, they are.

So it is with a heavy heart that I bid Cael’s last days of “babyhood” adieu.  The graduation of my youngest out of preschool has definitely tugged harder than I thought it would on this old heart of mine.  After two others you think I’d be used to it.  I think with age comes more sentimentality and therefore seeing “the baby” go through their milestones makes mom’s heart a little softer with a slight glistening on the lower lids of my welled up eyes, and let’s not overlook the ever growing lump in my throat.

Cael, my little man, good job.  You graduated preschool today.  We can see how much you have changed over the last two years and you have come a long way.  You are an absolute joy to be around, and dad and I are so proud.

They think I can save THE WORLD!!!

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Hey people,

Yeah, the periodic post, after promising I’d be here more often. Whadda-ya-gunna-do? Well summer is here for the most part. That will mean that with the kids home all day everyday, my posts will be even less frequent.

Jordynn’s last day of school will be on the 24th. Quinn’s will be on the 25th and Cael’s last day EVER of preschool will be tomorrow. Littlest man of the house graduates from preschool and prepares to join Quinn at the elementary school in September. He’s looking forward to that as it means a bus ride to school instead of “Mom’s Taxi Service”. I think “Mom’s Taxi Service” (MTS) provides better service but who can really compete with a 4 year olds lust to ride the muggy, metal, yellow tube?

This graduation (of sorts) will be bittersweet for him I imagine seeing as the two loves of his life are not joining him at the same school next year. Me being a dogan means we have the kids in the Catholic system. His girlfriends won’t be at the same school. I’m not sure if he’s figured this out yet or not. Good thing their mom and I have become friends, that way he gets to see them regularly (hopefully!) without having to depend on school.

A little conversation I heard in the back row of the van a week or so ago went something like this:

Q-“Cael, why do your girlfriends always want to play with you?”

C-“Well Quinn, (snicker snicker) they think I can save the world.”

[insert them both having a good yuk over this and through giggling chatter they say]

Q-“But Cael…You CAN’T save the WORLD!!!” (snicker snicker)

C-“YEAH! I KNOW!” (Laugh laugh snicker snicker)

I know for a fact that these girls are smarter than these two chuckleheads give them credit for. This could mean that these girls are well on their way to understanding what it means to feed a man’s ego. God love them!

More later!